Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Village Idiom

Yahoo! News tells me 2,000 new words and phrases have been added to the Oxford Dictionary this year, including such modern classics as 'staycation', 'chillax' (retch) and 'vuvuzela'. Whatever the hell that is.

And frankly, I'm a little pissed. I have coined some excellent terms in the past year and a half, and I didn't even get an honourable mention. Freakundity; jam bong; the Force of Grabbity; and, perhaps most disappointingly, Casual Hump Day. I mean, everyone likes Casual Hump Day, but suggesting that someone chillax is enough to warrant a punch in the head. Come on, people. Vuvuzela?! I just barely got used to calling it a va jay jay!

Damn lexicographers.

Well, one of the many joys of the interweb is that I can start my own dictionary if I darn well please. Ladies and gentlemen, in addition to the super sweet words and phrases listed above, I take great pleasure in presenting the following meritorious additions to the English language:

Frecklicious (fre-ku-LISH-us) (adj.): no definition required - my profile pic says it all.

Pantanglement (pan-TAN-gul-mint) (n.): the inextricable knot of g-strings formed in the delicates bag in the laundry.

Fox Creek (FUX-kreek) (interj.): a family-friendly version of some popular profanity. E.g., "For Fox Creek!" Coined after visiting the eponymous shit town in central Alberta.

Oblication (ob-li-CAY-shun) (n.): "vacation time" spent visiting relatives, or nursing your family through the flu because you ran out of sick days for the year back in March, and even though you are also dying your spouse has entered the Ninth Circle of Helplessness and you have to take care of him too.

Bonus entry! Ninth Circle of Helplessness: where men go when they are ill. Located directly adjacent to the better-known Ninth Circle of Hell, which is where women go when their men are ill.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

If March is the Hungry Month...

Then August is the Tired Month.

Work is busy in August. Life is busy in August. I'm Augxhausted. If I sat down to type all that would come out is incoherent whining. So don't fret, I'm still here, I'm just on a little blogging hiatus.

Talk soon,