Sunday, September 4, 2016

Thoughts Within His Head

'Hey, Small Fry, I'm going to the drugstore - wanna come with me?'


* * *

'So what're we buying?'

'Well, Dad needs some medicine, and your sister needs dividers for her school binders, and I need some of that toothpaste I like.'

'And what do I need?' *waggles eyebrows at me*

'Um... nothing that I know of.'

'How about some ice cream?' *more waggling*

'Ha - naw, I don't think so buddy. You didn't bring your -'


*starts singing 'Iron Man' riff while unbuttoning pants in the middle of Shopper's Drug Mart*

*rummages around in front of pants*

*pulls wallet out of pants with dramatic flourish - Iron Man supplanted by triumphant laughter*

'Ta-daaa! Now can I get some ice cream?'

*solid three-second response delay; blinks a few times* '... How long has that been in there?'

*tsks* 'Don't worry, Mom - I'm wearing underwear. I'm gettin' a Magnum Gold bar.' *marches off*

* * *

We were going to go home and make supper right away but I was sortof - I don't know - stunned into letting him get an ice cream. Like, exactly how long has he been stuffing his wallet in his pants every day, waiting on the perfect moment to whip it out and prove his parents wrong? How has he imagined this scene playing out in his mind? Had he really already considered my potential objections to this particular storage location? How does he know Black Sabbath?

* * *

'That will be four twenty, young man.'

*counts up change and plops it on counter* 'Thanks.'

(to me) 'I think it's just so great when parents let them learn how to do some shopping by themselves. He is really learning a lot.'

'Lady - you have no idea the things this kid has learned.'

And come to think of it, apparently, neither do I.