Small Fry and DH also watch a lot of cooking shows together, and Small Fry seems to have taken away three important lessons from this exposure: First, there should always be some sort of theme to meals. Second, meals should always take less than 30 (or sometimes 60) minutes to prepare, or else they are clearly a failure. And third, always rate and critique every meal anyone ever makes for you.
(Back in real-life land, we also learned a crucial fourth lesson: one should only rate and critique meals when one has something nice to say or one might just end up with a long and hungry period of rumination on one's mistakes that night.)
Today, Small Fry wanted to cook his own lunch. First, the theme: "Orange!" (Orange?)
Second, the execution:
Step 1 - Fill small pot halfway with water. Place pot on smallish burner, handle facing in for safety. Turn burner on high.
Step 2 - While waiting for water to boil, complete your prep. Place colander in sink; carefully cut open powdered cheez packet; turn nose up at margarine and get out butter instead.
Step 3 - Waaaaait for water to boil.
Step 4 - Notice that it looks like a nice day outside. Put on shoes and go out to play.
Step 5 - What the heck?!
Step 6 - (Mystery steps completed by Mom.)
Step 7 - Melt butter in pot. Add cheez powder and stir until not lumpy, adding a sploosh of milk if required. Resent being told that it is still lumpy and needs to be stirred more. Dump colander-full of macaroni mostly in pot; eat remainder, plain, off of counter, by way of vacuuming up directly with face. Stir what managed to make it into the pot to coat with cheez sauce.
Step 8 - Mom does some supplemental stirring.
Step 9 - Take meal out to the deck.
Step 10 - Mom does some supplemental cleaning.
Step 11 - Yell from the deck, "Hey Mom, how long did this take me to make?" (About 15 minutes.)
Step 12 - Pronounce self a Master Chef, give meal a 10/10, and enjoy.